Three years ago today, we recieved the official news that Wade did indeed suffer brain damage from the lack of oxygen during his traumatic birth. I can still remember the day like it was yesterday...
Rewind to Monday, May 21, 2007. Curtis and I spent the day watching TLC which included a few episodes of A Baby Story. I vividly remember telling Curtis that I did not want a C-section (which happened in at least one of the episodes) and him saying, "We'll do whatever we need to do." We left for Baylor Hosptial in Irving that evening where I was scheduled to be induced. They were to start cervadil that night, and start the pitocin the following morning. At the time, I was 41 weeks. I really wanted things to happen naturally, but my parents were flying in that night and the doctor said if the baby wasn't here by Friday, he would induce anyway. In an effort to not bore you with the details, I'll just say that things that night and into the early morning were pretty uneventful. Unknowingly, I was already having contractions when I got to the hospital. Throughout the night though, I could feel a lot more. I was a little naive and told the nurse that I was going to do things naturally. She quickly informed me that the hospital wasn't really "friendly" towards natural births as far as equipment and such. I would be hooked up to the machine so I couldn't walk through my contractions. There weren't any birthing balls, and I couldn't take a bath even though there was a huge tub in my room. I guess I should've looked into all of this ahead of time, but since it was my first pregnancy, I was pretty clueless on this type of thing. Tuesday morning after I showered, I consented to some pain meds, and the doctor eventually came in and talked me into an epidural telling me, "you don't need to be a hero." So, they gave me an epidural, my left leg kicked out, and things were pretty easy. I slept through pretty much everything.
The nurses assumed I would progress slowly, but by noon, I was ready to push. The room was cleared of visitors except for Curtis and my mom. My mom, at the very last moment, decided to stay. (Thank you God for those extra set of eyes and ears!!!!) I couldn't feel anything, and I remember snoring between pushes. (The whole reason I didn't want pain meds. I wanted to be aware of everything.) I also remember Curtis eating a sandwich between me pushing! Then, all of a sudden the atmosphere in the room totally changed. Even in my groggy state I knew things had gone down hill fast. I had a nurse up on my bed, I heard C-section, I was crying, and they wheeled me out of that room through some double doors. In the operating room they hurriedly removed my jewelry. The anesthesiologist was at my head repeating over and over "This isn't good. This isn't good." Wade was born at 2:31PM. I asked, "Why isn't my baby crying?"--I had watched enough episodes of The Baby Story to know that he should be crying by now. The anesthesiologist said, "It's okay. They just have their fingers in his mouth." What?!?! That didn't make me feel any better! Then I could hear them counting and "bagging" him, so I knew he wasn't breathing. I can remember thinking, how are we going to go home without a baby and tell everyone he didn't live? At some point, they got him stable--his apgar's were 0/3/3--and I was wheeled to recovery.
While I was in recovery, the team was prepping Wade for a helicopter transport to Cook Children's. Because of the type of trauma, he was a candidate for a new type of treatment--full body hypothermia, aka cooling blanket. The only hospital in the area that had this treatment for transfer patients was Cooks. The idea of the treatment was to drop the core body temperature down for 72 hours in an attempt to stop any further damage from occurring due to the loss of oxygen. It could not reverse any damage that had already happened, but hopefully it would stop further damage. Although the delivery hospital and Cooks are only about 45 minutes away from each other, since it was rush hour, they opted for the helicopter transport. I did get to see Wade for just a few minutes before they flew him away. I also got to touch his hand, and then I didn't see him for two and a half days as we were at separate hospitals. Over the course of the next few days, I learned that Wade had gotten "stuck" in the birth canal and the doctor tried a forcep delivery multiple times with no success. Since then, we have also learned that the pitocin was allegedly causing me to hyperstimulate, not giving Wade enough time to recover between the contractions.
I was discharged that Friday, May 25 and went straight to Cooks. I was not able to hold my sweet boy because he was intubated and still on the cooling blanket and had wires hooked up everywhere. That night we went back to the hospital so we could be there when they removed him from the blanket. That was quite the experience because right at the end, the blanket busted and water flowed everywhere!
Friday the doctors were all very positive about his prognosis. The EEG wasn't showing anymore seizure activity, and he seemed to be doing well. They were scheduling him for an MRI as soon as possible. Saturday morning we took our time getting to the hospital. Mom and Dad were also flying back to VA that afternoon. To our surprise, when we got back to the hospital, Wade was being returned from getting the MRI. The doctor told us he had the results. I knew in my heart of hearts that things weren't okay before he even said anything. I asked him, "Is it good or bad?" Dr. Nedrelow replied, "It's not good." He said he was very surprised at the results because everything else seemed to be okay. I don't remember much after that except to ask him to come to the waiting room so he could tell both of our parents. Dr. Nedrelow has the best bedside manner. He was very comforting and let all of us ask all kinds of questions. The neurologist however, was very matter of fact and gave us worse case scenario. According to him, Wade would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He would not walk or talk. The area of the brain that was damaged put him at high risk for cerebral palsy, mental retardation and epilepsy. Because I am a special education teacher, I prayed everyday for God NOT to give me a child with special needs. I remember sobbing this to Curtis after we all left the waiting room. But God had different plans and knew what he was doing when he led me down the path to that career. He was preparing me for May 22, 2007.
Wade was in the NICU for 16 days. He wowed the doctors with his improvements. Dr. Nedrelow was off for a few days, and when he returned he was in shock. He called me and said, "I have one word for you. WOW! This is a different baby than the one I left a few days ago." I said, "Of course he is. He's on every prayer chain across the country!"
So, in the beginning, our outlook on things was very grim. Now, three years later, I think Wade has surpassed all of their initial expectations. What did I learn in the process? That most doctors are very intelligent and knowledgeable in their field. However, they don't know everything. They cannot predict the future or the outcomes. While I still value their opinions, I do not put them on pedestals as the end all, be all. They are humans. They make mistakes. They are NOT God. Only He knows what's in store for us. And while it is a very emotional and tiring road, it is full of laughter, smiles, and most of all, miracles!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."~Jeremiah 29:11
