Had a Bad Day...

So, I woke up this morning to Wade crying @ 5:30. A little early for my liking!! Anyway, I got up and went through our changing/feeding routine, then turned on whatever was playing on the Disney Channel. For some reason, Wade decided he wanted to squeal at me all morning. So, around 7:00, I went and asked Curtis to get up (he had to work at 10:30) so I could go back to sleep for about an hour. Thank goodness he did, because the squealing was on my very last nerve! I got up a bit later to get ready for the OT to come over, and something in me just broke. I guess I've been trotting along with everything going rather smoothly, and for some reason, I just didn't want to face it today. (Of course, as always, Curtis was very empathetic, which kinda makes me feel worse sometimes.)

Before the OT came, my ECI (early childhood intervention) coordinator came by to have me sign some papers. She asked how I was doing and how it felt now that Wade's a year. WRONG question to ask me today! Of course I started crying again. It's silly really, but the little things just start piling up. We have to do everything for Wade--hold his bottle, support him when he's sitting, hand him his toys so he can try to play, etc. I'm sure you're thinking, "Of course you do. He's a baby." Well yes, but most one year olds can do these things on their own. I don't mind doing it, he's my son. But it's so exhausting sometimes. And it's really hard, because as much as people try to understand, they really don't. My coordinator said she would get some paperwork together for me about support groups and such, and bring it by next week.

Afterwards, Wade and I had to go to Wal-Mart. I was on the baby food aisle getting mad because I shouldn't have to be feeding him stage 2 baby food at age 1, and this lady was standing there. She looked really familiar, but I didn't want to be embarrassed if I said something and was wrong. Eventually I couldn't handle it anymore and asked her if she worked at Curves. She said yes, blah, blah, blah. Then I asked how her daughter was doing. Then I got really bold and asked her what her daughter's disability was. (I remember when I worked out there for oh, about a week, I saw a picture of her daughter and knew she had some sort of disability.) She kinda got this weird look on her face, and told me some sort of muscular dystrophy--MSA maybe???? Still looking confused, I threw in really quickly that Wade has cerebral palsy and I was just wondering if she knew of any support groups. Well, she was FULL of information. She knows someone who has 2 kids with CP, and she has some supportive equipment she's going to give me, and she works at Cooks Hospital and has tons of resources from there. It was so nice to have someone actually understand my feelings. Her daughter is now 6, but she says there are still days that she cries. She made me feel normal. So, my bad day turned into a very informative day. She was the answer to my prayers today!

Then, Stacey and I went to On the Border to relish in a Mango margarita;-)