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Saturday, December 17, 2011
An Apology
I am a former special education teacher. It is not a position that I sought out, but rather, it is a position that sort of chose me.
When I moved to TX in the fall of 2003, I decided that it was finally time to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. I always had the desire to teach, but for whatever reason, I had avoided that path. I enrolled in a program to become certified and also applied to become a substitute teacher. My very first sub position was in a special education self-contained classroom as an assistant, which turned into a seven week long term job. When I walked into that classroom, I didn't know what autism was. I didn't know much about Down's Syndrome except that the kids were "so cute and sweet". Needless to say, I didn't have a clue about an IEP or an ARD or what the heck LRE meant. However, I quickly learned that I had finally discovered my calling. That next school year, a teaching position opened at that same school, for those same group of kids.
In August 2004, my journey began. I really, truly thought I was an empathetic teacher; not only with the students but with the parents. Even though I didn't have their same experiences, I really tried to "walk a mile in their shoes" when making decisions. Two and a half years later, I realized my empathy was probably really sympathy. As nice and understanding as I tried to be, there was no way I could possibly understand their lives. At least not to the depth of what I thought. On May 22, 2007, that realization hit home like a ton of bricks. As four and a half years have passed by, I have grown and learned so much more about disabilities than any book could ever teach me. Having Wade has made me second guess a lot of decisions I made as a teacher. I came across a blog a couple weeks ago that sums up my feelings exactly. This blogger has managed to share the same thoughts, feelings, and regrets that I have had for the past four years. The title of her post is: An Apology From Your Child's Former Teacher.
Instead of writing my own apology letter, I thought I'd just let her letter speak for me. You can click here to read it. Honestly, I couldn't have said it any better. I hope you enjoy reading Leigh's post. The rest of her blog is amazingly honest and "real" as well. Definitely a blog to place on your list of readings!
When I moved to TX in the fall of 2003, I decided that it was finally time to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. I always had the desire to teach, but for whatever reason, I had avoided that path. I enrolled in a program to become certified and also applied to become a substitute teacher. My very first sub position was in a special education self-contained classroom as an assistant, which turned into a seven week long term job. When I walked into that classroom, I didn't know what autism was. I didn't know much about Down's Syndrome except that the kids were "so cute and sweet". Needless to say, I didn't have a clue about an IEP or an ARD or what the heck LRE meant. However, I quickly learned that I had finally discovered my calling. That next school year, a teaching position opened at that same school, for those same group of kids.
In August 2004, my journey began. I really, truly thought I was an empathetic teacher; not only with the students but with the parents. Even though I didn't have their same experiences, I really tried to "walk a mile in their shoes" when making decisions. Two and a half years later, I realized my empathy was probably really sympathy. As nice and understanding as I tried to be, there was no way I could possibly understand their lives. At least not to the depth of what I thought. On May 22, 2007, that realization hit home like a ton of bricks. As four and a half years have passed by, I have grown and learned so much more about disabilities than any book could ever teach me. Having Wade has made me second guess a lot of decisions I made as a teacher. I came across a blog a couple weeks ago that sums up my feelings exactly. This blogger has managed to share the same thoughts, feelings, and regrets that I have had for the past four years. The title of her post is: An Apology From Your Child's Former Teacher.
Instead of writing my own apology letter, I thought I'd just let her letter speak for me. You can click here to read it. Honestly, I couldn't have said it any better. I hope you enjoy reading Leigh's post. The rest of her blog is amazingly honest and "real" as well. Definitely a blog to place on your list of readings!
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